I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
