I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
