Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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