Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
