***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I would ride that face into the sunset
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
