I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
