I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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