He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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