Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
