I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
