ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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