spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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