I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
