"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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