u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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