God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
