Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so that wasnt chicken after all
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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