that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
