I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize