definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
