we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
