yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
