just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
