He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
