every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
ok first of all what the fuck
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
