Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize