We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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