i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
