I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
