She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
