you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
