somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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