I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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