He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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