I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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