She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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