i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
