As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
