Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
