Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize