Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
What happened to fro yo and sex?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
