4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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