The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
