So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
