she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We have so much sex to catch up on
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
