I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
