No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
