It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
