May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize