you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
