If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I can't turn off my feet"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
