I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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