I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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