nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you had me at cake vodka
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
