is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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