I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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