What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
