I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
