I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
