Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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