I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
